One of the greatest challenges a child can face is the addition of a younger sibling to their family. If they are old enough to understand the implications a new child will have on their family, it can be a worrying experience and lead to sibling rivalry, jealousy, and sometimes childish pettiness. You can anticipate these effects in advance and prepare for them, however.
The decision about when to tell your child that a new sibling is on the way is a difficult one, and there is no one right time to do so. An older, more mature child may already know the details about how pregnancy happens, or be ready for the answers to their questions. With younger children, you may prefer to tell them only what they need to know. Tell them when to expect the baby; if your child is younger and has a less clear concept of time, relate it to something they do know about, like the season or a holiday.
As you’re preparing for the new addition to your family, make sure to include your child in making the arrangements, and don’t leave them out. Make sure you continue to make them feel loved and included throughout the preparations, spending time with them doing things where you don’t talk about the baby endlessly, exciting though it may be for you!
You can help your child understand what’s happening by reading kids’ books written for their age group about pregnancy and childbirth. Some books are aimed specifically towards children who are getting ready for a new sibling. Let them help think up baby names, listen to the baby’s heartbeat, and pack the hospital bag as the time come nears.
Make sure your children know what’s going to happen when the day you have to head to the hospital arrives. See if they can visit you after the birth, when no other visitors except the family are there, to help them feel included in this special family event.
The period of transition when the baby is brought home is probably going to be hard on both the baby’s parents and older siblings! Keep this in mind, and try to avoid major changes in routines when possible. If it’s time to make such a change, make it well before or after the due date if you can, so it doesn’t intensify the feelings your child will experience due to the new baby.
You may find your child not taking interest in the baby. If so, don’t be alarmed and don’t try to force your child to take an interest in the baby — it will come with time.
Continue to spend time with the older siblings, so they don’t feel like the new baby is intruding upon their time with their parents. Remind well-meaning relatives and family friends to talk about subjects other than the baby, as your older child will probably not want to be constantly thinking and talking about it!
Sibling rivalry can be reduced greatly if you are careful to incorporate your older child into the preparations for and care of the baby.
Related posts:
- Communicating With Your Baby
- First-Time Fathers
- A Guide to Baby’s First Checkup
- Baby Safety: Childproofing Your Car and Home
Tags: Sibling Jealousy, Sibling Rivalry